Gone, but not forgotten

Have you watched your circle of friends grow smaller as the years go by? Does your world seem to be shrinking? The older we get, the more of our friends and loved ones leave us. It gets even tougher during the holidays when we gather in familiar groups which have met for years, and some faces we hope to see aren’t there.

Some people are afraid or don’t want to mention the ones who’ve gone before us and uncomfortable gaps can appear in conversations. Many people don’t know what to say and are often reluctant to talk about a person who has died in fear of hurting someone’s feelings.

Instead, as one who has lost a husband, it makes me happy to hear people mention something he said or did, or to admit to their thoughts and say, “I really miss him at this gathering.” It’s an opportunity to remember something funny or nostalgic about that person, and, as others add their anecdotes, those memories can give a wonderful boost to the occasion.

Knowing that our loved ones are not forgotten is important. While there can be a ping of sadness at the mention of someone’s name, it’s okay, because it also tells us that others are remembering that person, too.

Learn more about guest blogger and senior writer Gloria VanDemmeltraadt

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